Monday, December 31, 2012

Trust, Release, Flow

There is a beautiful quote by Chelle Thompson, that I shared in my book, Fearless:  Awakening to My Life's Purpose Through Breast Cancer, "Change has long been a fearful thing for human beings and at the same time, it is our most Divine opportunity. Clinging to the banks of the river may seem safe and more secure, but life's possibilities are truly engaged only when we trust, release and become part of The Flow of the Universe." This quote has echoed in my head throughout the past months, resonating through my heart and soul as I begin moving into new territories in my life.  As I shared in Fearless, in many ways, the past six years were spent running from cancer and reaching for life, as I searched to find out who this new person was.  Now, I see that as I learned to trust more in the journey, I found more acceptance, peace within, and less struggle. I became more quiet and was more clearly able to see the things that were around me, and a lot of my judgements of self and others fell away. So, what if I fall down, I can always get back up or start over. That's the beauty of life.

When I looked up the word "fearless" recently, aside from meaning "not having fear", one of the definitions was to be "bold, intrepid". This is the definition I choose to embrace.  Being fearless is to be undaunted by circumstances, and to boldly walk into new terrain, regardless of one's inner doubt.

I spoke at an event recently and someone asked me, "so does this mean that you're not afraid of anything anymore?" I responded, "Absolutely not." I am afraid of something or the other, on a daily basis - as we all are, but instead of letting my fears stop me, I think about the excitment of discovering something new, of being inspired to think a new way, letting go of old habits, or awakening to new possibilities.
It is quite easy to become stuck in knowing who "we are" - in our idea of our selves.  I find it interesting these days, to "upset" things a bit, shake things up and not stay in such a safe place any more.  It's scary, but exciting and keeps me on my toes.  I was inspired by my daughter last night. She did something she has done a million times, but for the first time, it meant something different to me. As I slept, she did this thing where she looks at me until I wake up, and I always do. Then she asked me to go to the bathroom with her. "Why, love?" I asked.  "Because I'm scared." "What are you scared of baby,". "It's dark and I don't want to go alone to the bathroom."  "Okay," I responded, "let's compromise. I will come with you but I'll stay a ways away, so you know I'm close, but I want you to learn to trust that you'll be okay if you walk into your fears." She looked at me like I had two heads. Two a.m. in the morning was no time for life lessons, but I stood there and smiled and eventually, she went in and came out alive.  "You made it, I see." "Yes, thank you, Mommy".  I guess, even though she was afraid, all she really needed was the comfort of knowing that someone was close by to love and protect her, and that's what we all need, at the end of the day.  It's easier to take those leaps when you trust that you are safe with the love of family, friends or a partner close by. 

As the year winds to a close, it touches me deeply to take note of all the wonderful people and energy surrounding me, inspiring me to be intrepid in my quest to be the best that I can be, and who love me - imperfections and all....all of you in your own lives, giving light and life to ideas, creations and manifesting wonderful things.  I, for one, will be taking more risks in 2013 and spicing things up a bit. I'll also be doing things that are a bit out of the box for me...wish me luck!  Happy early new year, my friends.  I look forward to creating many more wonderful, Divine experiences together... trust, release, flow...

Love from the bottom of my heart and happy 2013,